Fat boys need love too. That’s the sentimental card I’ve always played with the ladies anyway (never works). But let’s face it: thin is in. San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecum just lost 20 plus pounds and Charles Barkley is dropping LBs like a Bulimic.
So that got me thinking: which soccer players could stand a waistline trim? Here are my Top 3 soccer fat boys in need of an intervention.
Ronaldinho: He’s competed at more weight divisions than Floyd Mayweather Jr. We used to marvel at what he could do with a ball; his famous trickery blew up YouTube. Then he just blew up. For his next trick he should try passing the meatball. Put it down sir. Handball, Ronaldinho! Handball!
Wayne Rooney: This might be a stretch. I mean who would Rooney be without a few extra pounds and a bald spot? … (considering it) … a younger, more athletic Ricky Gervais? (or is that the booze talking?) On second thought, keep the carry on luggage Wayne – it suits you.
Benni McCarthy: The only thing you need to know about Benni is that he was omitted from the South African World Cup team two years ago for being overweight. Looks like he spent the downtime training in his kitchen. His uniform fits like it came from the athletic section of Baby Gap, and it’s partially the bright South African colors, but every time I see him “Somewhere over the Rainbow” plays in my head. And not the Dorothy version, either. See what I mean after the jump.
