Following Arsenal’s loss to Wigan Monday, Robin Van Persie and Steve Caldwell violated several hundred ‘manshake’ laws.

Thou shall not take more than 3 seconds to complete a manshake.

Thou shall not palm and squeeze another man’s hand during a manshake.

And lastly, rule No. 24C: dude, stop handfighting! It’s embarrassing.

While both players will be written up and reprimanded accordingly, they’re far from the only athlete offenders.

See the shocking footage after the jump.