Author Archives: Reshad Bahadori

Written by Reshad Bahadori

We’re back, baby! And we’re unveiling a new segment we like to call “Thank God For Cameras.” Thank God for REAL TALK, too!

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

The FIFA governing body showed no mercy on the United States on our Independence Day. The U.S. dropped 8 spots on the latest FIFA rankings and now sits at #36 behind countries like Hungary. Apparently, FIFA doesn’t think the U.S. is hungry enough. (Yeah, I went there.) The U.S. has looked really shaky in its recent 4-1 loss to Brazil and 0-0 tie to Canada. We’re currently tied for 1st in the World Cup qualifiers with Jamaica as both countries have a total of 4 points in the their group and face off on September 7.

Other notable changes include England’s ascent to the 4th spot. And for the first time in the history of the FIFA rankings, Brazil has fallen out of the top 10. Spain remains on top with Germany right behind them at #2.

I’m assuming that there is probably some intricate ranking system that determines which team goes where. With that being said…COME ON MAN! England ahead of Italy and Argentina? Please.

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

By Reshad Bahadori

If you have ever played on a team, be it high school, club, adult league, or even just pick up, then you have most likely come across a teammate similar to Balotelli.

The Marios of the world are the much-needed comic relief on every team. The guy that loves to pull pranks, but hates to be pranked. The guy with an unnecessarily extravagant fashion sense. The guy who thinks everyone is laughing with him, when they are actually laughing at him. This is not specific to soccer by the way, it’s true for every sport. Examples include: Ron Artest, Terrell Owens, and Jose Canseco.

What separates Balotelli from the rest of these guys is that there is still hope for the young Italian. Here’s my advice for the 21-year-old who is playing with Italy on the international side, and on the club side with Man City:

Feel free to stand out my friend, but stop being a distraction. Stop lighting fireworks in your mansion and setting it on fire. Stop trying ridiculous back heels during games. And stop fighting with your teammates about who gets to take a free kick. Stop being a knucklehead and continue to have fun the way you have been for Italy during the EURO. (Example after the jump)

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

One word: FAIL! … There’s a lot of that going around in this week’s long awaited episode of Real Talk.

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

It’s about time Sepp!
My two least favorite arguments against technology in sports are that it will remove the human element from the game and that there is traditional value in the methods that have been used for years. This means that you are ok with a home run being called a foul ball, a touchdown catch being called out of bounds, a three being called a two, and a game-changing goal being taken away. I DON’T GET IT!

I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that there are certain things in life that I will never get.

Things I don’t get:

    *Pizza box is a square. Pizza is a circle. Pizza slice is a triangle.*It’s called double-u even though it’s double-v. (W) 

    *Six Flags uses an old creepy dancing man to attract children.

    *The point of cursive.

Sorry, I blacked out for minute. The point is that soccer needs to stop being so afraid of change. It would take less than 2 minutes to review a goal and we can finally stop listening to those Bloody Brits complaining about Lampard’s disallowed goal in the World Cup. (which you can see after the jump)

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

By Reshad Bahadori

Hey Neymar… Watch out for that camera.
If only you could hit the ball with your foot as hard as you hit the camera with your face.
What did the 5 fingers say to the face? Camera.
My man, you’re so skinny that every time you put on that Brazil jersey, I mistake you for a #2 pencil.
Maybe if you did something about that mullet on your head, people would respect you more.
You look like a cockatoo bro.
I bet Messi would have dodged it.
I really hope the camera is ok.
I’m just messing around kid. Respect. (since I know you read the 91st Minute everyday)

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

International brawls, ridiculous goals, and uhh … baby bottoms? Yup. That can only mean one thing: REAL TALK!

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

By Reshad Bahadori

Unless you’re living under a rock, in which case it’s time for you to make some life changes, you are probably aware that Euro 2012 kicks off on Friday. Unlike most other sports, as soccer fans we have to wait four years for the World Cup. The EURO Cup is that little appetizer before the big meal. I guess this makes the Champions League the slice of bread with butter that you get before your appetizer. It’s kind of a big deal, is what I’m trying to say.

There is something special about international competition that separates it from other games. Each player is representing their country as opposed to just some high-paying club. There is no sponsor covering up the entire jersey; there are no ridiculous color combinations. Just your country’s crest and the colors of your flag.

Alright, let’s get on to the actual tournament. Early favorite Spain should have no problem getting out of its group. The team will be without two of its most important players and leaders, in David Villa and Carles Puyol.

Group B, otherwise known as the ‘group of death’ is the one everyone is keeping a close eye on. The group consists of favorites Germany, Netherlands, Portugal and that other team. My money is on Germany and I’m taking Portugal as the #2 instead of Netherlands.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see England pull another choke job and lose in the group stage. My sleeper in the tournament is France. A squad with names like, Nasri, Ben Arfa, Benzema, and Ribery cannot be ignored. Look for them to surprise a lot of people.

None of that is in any way shape or form important though. All that matters is that Friday the games start and just like stock in Facebook, IT IS GOING DOWN!!

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

Gordon Ramsay goes down in (kitchen) flames and Shaquille O’Neal invents an amazing word in our latest episode of Real Talk. Oh yeah, there was even a little soccer on display including one of the best goals of the year. Check it out!

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

By Reshad Bahadori

For anyone that has kept a close eye on the US MNT as of late, you may have noticed Michael Bradley. Not because of the light that shines off his alien-like head, but because of the way he has been dominating on the pitch.

Bradely has controlled the middle and is one of the most consistent players in the lineup. I can’t help but agree with our good friend Ives on this one. #BradleyIsABeast

 

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