Written by Will Parchman

Ideological golazo battles are the best, and we’ve got a doozy for you today. Akron, once the home of Caleb Porter’s ‘Death by 1,000 Passes,’ comes up with a lovely bit of build-up typical of the possession-based side. And in the other corner, Michigan State’s beast of an effort from range pits man versus team in this week’s TDS College Goal of the Week.

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Written by Will Parchman

LD3

We will miss Landon Donovan. Probably more than we know.

As we eulogize Donovan’s professional playing career in videos and words and deeds and Tweets and posters and laurels and wreaths, we do so in the midst of sporadic moments of emotion that bubble up quickly and recede in quiet.

Donovan did this to us.

“The face of a soccer generation.” He was the first and likely last of his ilk. No one before or since has presided over the game in America during such exponential rise in popularity, and it doesn’t particularly matter if a more gifted player comes along down the line, as he most assuredly will. He wasn’t Donovan. He wasn’t there. For the committed souls who pushed into the dawn in 2002, for The Beckham Experiment, for the best U17 World Cup the U.S. has ever seen and Algeria and the Chastain bra and all of it.

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Written by Will Parchman

Think MLS refereeing is bad? You have that right. It’s certainly not perfect, as Juan Guzman can assuredly tell you by his actions.

But it’s not this bad.

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Written by Will Parchman

Claudio Vargas is a midfielder for Club Libertad in the Paraguayan First Division. On Friday, he thumped this ridiculous strike that knuckles and curves like it has sentient thoughts. Libertad eventually lost the game 3-1 to River Plate in the first leg of their Copa Sudamericana series, but in the end, don’t we all win after seeing this beast?

Plus. That reaction. I’m a little scared, to be honest.

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Written by Will Parchman

Watch. Listen. Sob.

“In the first episode of the Grantland Features series chronicling the twilight of Landon Donovan’s career, we follow the American legend during his farewell game as a member of the U.S. national team while he discusses the most memorable moments playing for his country.”

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Written by Will Parchman

DG

Every so often your senses defy you. In the world of U.S. soccer, Wednesday was one of those days.

The announcement that MLS commish Don Garber was preparing to hold a flash press conference on Wednesday afternoon lit through the soccer world like lightning. It was unexpected, and its genesis was hard to miss. What it produced was probably the most astonishing teleconference in the history of U.S. soccer. And not in a particularly good way.

Let’s back up. The USMNT was in Florida this past week for a pair of friendlies. and Jurgen Klinsmann had some choice words on the moves Clint Dempsey and Michael Bradley made in coming home. You can read Brian Straus’ entire story here, but the part that seemed to so incense Don Garber is probably this.

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Written by Maxi Rodriguez

pg2_e_soundersfood_576

If there’s one thing that influences your experience at a soccer match besides the game itself, it’s the stadium. We’ve all been there: expensive concessions, uncomfortable seats and bad sight lines; how your day at the park goes can often come down to the park itself. Sure, your team might have dominated their way to a 3-0 victory, but if those nachos were $8, was it really worth it?

While complaints about your local stadium are entirely natural, it seems that a few fans have taken to Yelp to voice their grievances. With that in mind, we’ve gathered a few of the most…interesting… negative reviews for MLS stadiums.

And yes, these are real.

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Written by Will Parchman

It’s true that this isn’t “new,” per se. It happened in 2010 and got a small amount of media coverage, but this being Canada, it didn’t make its way to the U.S. in any substantive form. Which is why today, we’re going to watch Winnipeg mayor Sam Katz kick a kid square in the face.

There isn’t much analysis here beyond the fact that Sam Katz is a mayor, and that’s a child, and Katz put his shoe in the child’s face with no small amount of force. The greatest thing about this video (other than the kid being OK, ultimately) is the slow-mo replay we get. I can just imagine the scene in the video editing room. “Bill… can we… can we slow this down?” *chuckles* “Uh, yeah, I think we can.”

Let this be your Throwback Thursday video. On a Wednesday. Because the 91st rolls like that.

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Written by Will Parchman

s2

SEATTLE – A panel of nine sat spread shoulder-to-shoulder Tuesday on a dais inside a pavilion at the Chihuly Gardens, an ornate snake of red glass flowers clinging to the ceiling crawling above their heads. They were gathered to announce the Seattle Sounders’ “unprecedented event,” and it was hardly surprising that men like Sigi Schmid and Adrian Hanauer were among their number. The announcement of a Sounders USL PRO franchise, after all, was a hardly contained rumor.

But there was also a group joining them who became significant soon after the press conference began. Representatives of the Sounders’ major supporters’ groups joined the team’s administrators, and it soon became obvious why. The announcement of the Sounders’ USL PRO franchise came first, the Sounders 2 beginning operation in 2015 as a standalone franchise under the Sounders’ developmental umbrella. Between Schmid and Hanauer was Andrew Opatkiewicz, a fitting visual considering the day’s ensuing events.

What came next was a surprise. The Sounders opened up 20 percent ownership of the new USL PRO franchise to the fans through a new organization called the Sounders Community Trust. The details of the trust are still filtering out – fans can buy in and have a voting stake in the club’s decisions – but the announcement was met with rapturous applause inside the pavilion Tuesday when it came down. Unsurprisingly, it was wildly popular among the Sounders faithful.

The establishment of a USL PRO franchise certainly wasn’t unprecedented. In fact, the Sounders’ Cascadia rivals in Portland announced their USL PRO venture, called T2, earlier in the day. But to have this level of fan ownership at any level in a soccer franchise in America?

Unprecedented indeed.

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Written by Will Parchman

It’s been a tough year for Chivas USA fans, who watched the Goats struggle on the field (as  per usual) before getting the news just weeks ago that the team was essentially folding. You feel for the diehards who’ve stuck it out through mostly lean years. At least for the next two seasons, they’ll have to find new allegiances. Or perhaps just root for whoever the Galaxy are playing.

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