Written by Jahmal Corner

Ok, so things got a little out of hand – but if you’ve never been to a wedding where the bride gets sucker punched and the castle door gets busted down, then you’ve never really been to a wedding my friend!

Recently released Newcastle midfielder Danny Guthrie knows what I’m talking about. He’s currently fending off rumors about a wild weekend when he tied the knot at England’s Allerton Castle.

According to Dirty Tackle, and other sources, police had to break up his June 2 wedding at 4 a.m. after all hell broke loose.

Apparently, it started with a fight that saw the bride lose on all scorecards (but this was a legit decision … sorry Pacquiao) after she was punched in the grill and had to go to the hospital. Guests of the wedding were locked out – leading to them going ‘big bad wolf’ and blowing the door down – and lobsters were thrown (which I’m ok with, because shellfish deserve their freedom too).

The only thing missing from this party was Ken Jeong locked in a trunk. I guess there’s always the honeymoon.


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Written by Jahmal Corner

Who says men don’t show emotion? Rafael Nadal won the French Open earlier today then promptly fell into the arms of countryman Pau Gasol. Check out the photo above as Gasol cradles Nadal, shielding him from the harsh realities of the world.

In other awkward man love news, Croatia coach Slaven Bilic was greeted by an affectionate fan during a 3-1 win over Ireland and got a juicy ‘kiss from a rose on a grave’ (shrug … Seal doesn’t even know what he meant by that).

Check out the Kiss Cam after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

In the latest episode of What Was Mario Balotelli Thinking? The Italian striker got in perfect position to score in Sunday’s Euro 2012 tie with Spain before one of the following things happened:

1. He briefly forgot the objective of soccer (wait … what do I do with this ball?)

2. He tried to throw the Spanish defense off with soccer’s equivalent of “the floater.”

3. He thought he was Neo and could slow everything down before scoring.

If this was anyone other than Balotelli I’d demand an investigation into possible match-fixing but since it is him he gets a Mike Tyson ‘oh, he’s crazy’ pass. Moving on.


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Written by Jahmal Corner

For most people it was just a friendly, but for me Argentina’s exhibition against Brazil was an opportunity to revisit Pele’s insane comments about Neymar being better than Messi.

Why am I bringing up old stuff? Because I like to instigate. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say Messi closed the door on that discussion.


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Written by Jahmal Corner

U.S. WNT Goalkeeper Coach Paul Rogers talks technical work with his keepers and we get a brief glimpse of the netminders as they prepare for the upcoming London Olympics.


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Written by Jahmal Corner

Once we got the singing and dancing trolls out of the way, this whole Euro thing got pretty exciting.

The opener between Poland and Greece was the match of the day with Polish keeper Wojciech Szczesny getting a red card for a take down, and Greece missing a penalty kick that would’ve given them a stunning win.

The highlights of Russia pounding Czech Republic are above, while Poland-Greece is after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

With the 2012 Olympic Team set, the U.S. WNT arrives in Gothenburg, Sweden for a 10-day training camp in advance of matches in Halmstad against the hosts on June 16 and Japan on 18.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Not to get all scientific on you (though I am wearing my Beats By Dr. Dre headphones at the moment), but studies have shown that throwing beer on an elite athlete can actually take his performance to another level.

Ok, so the sample size is one, but it is a good one. Remember when David Beckham got a Heineken bath from a fan a few months back? Well, that sequence ended with Becks firing a perfect service that led to a goal.

Here’s how I see the equation:

Instigative fan + Motivated athlete = peak performance

So based on this theory, and the fact that LeBron’s beer shower came after he’d put up 45 points, 15 rebounds and 5 assists against the Boston Celtics, I’ve got Bron penciled in for a Game 7 performance of 60, 20 and 10 …

Good luck, Celtics.


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Written by Jahmal Corner

Not that I’m surprised or anything, but the Euro 2012 opening ceremony was out of its mind. It started with the human troll children walking out and shaking hands, then took off from there.

I feel like the program director instructed the performers to “just wear something really crazy, then go out there and do stuff!”

That’s basically what we’re watching. Don’t try to make sense of it, just accept it.

Oh, and go France! (My sleeper pick.)


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Written by Jahmal Corner

After a week off, 5v5 is back in business. This week our five new panelists are debating the changes to college conferences across the country.

Tweet us your comments or questions @JC_TDS. With that said, let’s get it on!


Which best describes your feeling about college programs shifting to new conferences: Ruins conference history and rivalries; adds excitement to the game; it is what it is?

Patrick Murray, White and Blue Review: I think, in general, the realignment is a good thing for the game. The good conferences get even better, and that adds excitement to the game. Non-conference schedules in college soccer offer a lot of flexibility, too, so that rivalries can still be preserved if both teams are committed to them. I just read an article about the head coach of VCU – they’re trying to keep things going with in-state rivals like William & Mary and James Madison, but by moving to the Atlantic 10 they also gain a cross-town derby with Richmond. Everyone wins.

Scott French, ESPN: My feeling on conference realignment is that it is what it is. I don’t like it particularly, but it’s all about the big-money sports, so soccer just falls in line like every other “minor” sport. I’m rather sick of BCS schools and big-money programs and tend to follow only local schools (been a UCLA fan since growing up watching Wooden basketball), my alma mater (go Cal State Fullerton!) and rooting for small-conference programs over the big schools at every opportunity.

Robert Ziegler, Managing Editor of TopDrawerSoccer.com: It is what it is: If university presidents and athletic directors care less about their traditions than they do where the next football buck comes from, why should I? Most rivalries tend to be based on relative recent success of teams anyway, so I don’t doubt some new exciting matchups will materialize, right about the time when the conferences start another round of realignment for the sake of football TV money.

Joel Welser, College Sports Madness: I generally believe that it is what it is, but the rash of major conference movement does indeed ruin rivalries. There is certainly a place for conference realignment. It has happened a lot in the past, but it tends to be on a smaller scale and not as blatantly football-centric. The BCS has made its mark and every other sport has to follow. It’s hard to blame any school for doing what it has to do.

Charlie Nobile, United States Football Club: Adds excitement to the game. I think it creates more competition and keeps the game fresh and interesting.


Which program shift will have the most dramatic impact on the upcoming season?

Murray: Southern Methodist and Central Florida’s move to the Big East brings that whole conference up. They’re both programs on the rise, stacked for the next few seasons, and are coming off really close second-round NCAA losses last season. The C-USA was no slouch, but the Big East gauntlet is a whole new animal that these two schools will have to face. If they do well, and indications are that they can, they’ll have to knock off some big names to do it – Connecticut, Louisville, Notre Dame, and others —and that will alter the national landscape in a pretty huge way.

Ziegler: Texas A&M and Missouri coming into the SEC is a major change on the women’s side, as is West Virginia and TCU now joining the Big 12. West Virginia joining Akron in the MAC for men will make that competition more interesting.

Welser: I am intrigued by West Virginia heading to the MAC. It has been Akron and everybody else as of late, but the addition of the Mountaineers could really change that. The Zips have helped propel the rest of the MAC into the spotlight, but WVU could help the conference take the next step. For this season the MAC could conceivably have three teams in the top 25 at season’s beginning and season’s end.

Nobile: Cal State Bakersfield’s move to the Pac-12 will be interesting. They play a great style of soccer and get some very talented recruits. I’m interested in seeing how they stack up in the Pac-12.

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