Written by Jahmal Corner

Brian Windsor. Brian Iloski. Johnatan Lama. Jacob Powell.

Those are the four players heading to Barcelona after winning Nike’s “The Chance” open competition.

Watch highlights of the five-month process which culminates with the Nike staff voting on the finalists and making the emotional announcements.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

What’s it going to take to impress this girl? The USMNT wins in Mexico City for the first time ever and McKayla Maroney is still giving us the stank face.

At least we’re not alone. A look back at my favorite things that DIDN’T impress the U.S. Gymnast after the jump.

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

Since the soccer season is right around the corner, we thought we would help you plan your schedule. Below you will find some important games to keep an eye on.

There are two early Clásico matches between Madrid and Barca for the Supercopa de España. Van Persie faces off against his old squad in early November and we have the battle of Manchester in early December. As my good friend Bart Scott would say, “CANT WAIT!”

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Just four slots remaining on our countdown of the top 10 reasons to be excited for the college soccer season (See Part 1, 2 and 3). Take a deep breath. Here are reasons No. 3 and 4:

4. Soccer Girl Problems: I’ve been told that this female comedy troupe attends Fairfield, though I haven’t been able to confirm that. What I do know is that they’re frickin’ hilarious, from their tweets to videos, and their material is at its best during the college season. Somehow, these ladies help me forget about my own soccer man problems.

 

3. Kylie Doniak, Bree McMahon & Mo Isom: These soccer players represented three of the most inspirational stories of the year. And there will be more. Personal triumph is part of the narrative of the college soccer season and it will inevitably shine light on new characters that teach us important lessons.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

I wouldn’t go as far as comparing Piers Morgan (Google him) to THIS GUY, but when it comes to his soccer he’s kind of a grown baby.

So when Van Persie officially left Morgan’s beloved Arsenal it was on like Donkey Kong … if Donkey Kong was super sensitive and ever learned how to use Twitter. A sample of Morgan’s rantings:

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Wow. We just beat Mexico in Mexico for the first time since … ever. It may have just been a friendly, but it feels like so much more.

Jurgen Klinsmann gets another signature win, Tim Howard another special performance and Brek Shea was a difference-maker.

Oh, and how about that defense? Highlights are above.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

So what were you up to this summer?

You: Eh, not much. Mostly hung out at Grandma’s, played on the Slip N’ Slide.

Marc Cintron: (yawn) scored a goal against the best soccer team in the world … yup.

Good luck bringing Cintron back down to Earth this season after he recorded Puerto Rico’s only goal during its friendly with Spain today.

His goal comes at the 1:50 mark.

Your Slip N’ Slide is still at Grandma’s.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Because we don’t have nearly enough David Beckham in our lives, you can now view Becks outside of H&M where he’ll have his own 10-foot statue as part of his Beckham Bodywear Campaign.

The statue is a take on Michelangelo’s (the artist, not the Ninja Turtle) enduring ‘David’ masterpiece and though the artist couldn’t be reached for comment my inside source told me he’s rolling over in his grave.

Can we just cut to the chase and start selling David Beckham shares on the stock market? Other than his own line of scented sweat, I just don’t see where he goes from here.

 

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

The above video is a real-life psychological study of Newcastle fans with heavy accents and heavier obsessions with their favorite futbol club. Throughout the study, you’ll hear these maniacs say things like:

Football comes firstFootball was there before me wife. So it’s always going to be there and that’s always going to be a problem.

I won’t spoil the conclusion of the study, but here are my own findings:

These guys are lucky to have wives. If I were a scientist I’d run a study on the women to figure out where they went wrong. Don’t these women know they have options? That there are guys out there who speak proper English (me wife? Really bro?) and value human contact over soccer?

Don’t answer that now … I’m watching the game.

[Adage]

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

So it’s official: Arsenal and Man U have completed a handshake deal that will land Van Persie on the most recognizable club in the world.

I once compared this deal to the NBA where the Lakers got Steve Nash. I was wrong. This is more like the Lakers getting Dwight Howard after getting Steve Nash and then luring LeBron to join the party too.

So let’s get this straight: Wayne Rooney, Federico Macheda, Bebe, Danny Welbeck, Javier Hernandez and Van Persie?

Those little Red Devils.

 

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