Written by Jahmal Corner

So NHL hockey ended last night (I know you don’t care but I have to mention this for the sake of the story) with the Los Angeles Kings winning the Stanley Cup.

In the postgame press conference, MVP Jonathan Quick let his 2-year-old daughter run around like she’d just singlehandedly won the championship herself. Watch as she babbles nonsense into the microphone (a-ba-ba?), prances around waving a flag and chokes a little bit on what appears to be green candy. Unfortunately, this isn’t the full length video, so we miss the part where she makes it rain animal crackers.

This is definitely cute, but at the same time: hey Jonathan, get your daughter, bro.

We revisit another adorable father/daughter moment after the jump.

Tags:  , , | Leave a comment
Written by Reshad Bahadori

International brawls, ridiculous goals, and uhh … baby bottoms? Yup. That can only mean one thing: REAL TALK!

Tags:  , , , , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

To all you aspiring goalkeepers out there: I want you to fast-forward these highlights to 1:01 and watch the way Czech Republic goalkeeper Petr Cech handles this cross. Then find a mirror, look into your eyes and repeat after me: I will never (eva, eva, eva-eva?) play a ball that poorly.

Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, Czech rebounded nicely from its opening loss to Russia with a 2-1 win over Greece. Everyone not named Petr Cech: Way to go!

Peter: let’s talk.

 

Tags:  , , , | Leave a comment
Written by Seth Burleigh

christiano ronaldo euro 2012

By Seth Burleigh

I am going on record and saying that CR7 and Portugal aren’t going to do anything special in Euro 2012.

Ronaldo and Portugal always seems to find a way to choke on the big stage and they didn’t prove anyone wrong against Germany on Saturday.

CR7′s hair may have looked sharp, but his flashy step-overs didn’t phase Boateng in the slightest and he was relatively silent for the entire match.

Short of his full sprint for a ball, which the commentators loved talking about, what else did he do that was memorable?

For all the talk about Ronaldo vs. Messi, Ronaldo vs. the world, Ronaldo this, Ronaldo that, the best players rise to the top (in some way) on the biggest stages. Even Shevchenko at the ripe old age of 35 found a way to score twice against Sweden. Ok, it was Sweden and not the mighty Germans, but still.

As phenomenal a season as Cristiano may have had, I think this sums it up:

Ronaldo’s fancy footwork and stepovers might work well against Getafe and Real Zaragoza but when he comes up against quick top-class defenders who refuse to panic, he finds it harder.

I would love to see Ronaldo have his international coming out party during these Euros and help Portugal advance out of the Group of Death (I went out on a limb and picked Spain to win it all), but I just don’t see it happening.

 

Tags:  , , , | 3 Comments
Written by Jahmal Corner

Brazilian 4th division team Votuporanguense beat Fernandopolis 2-1 in a match Sunday that erupted into a brawl and 12 red cards.

The mayhem began when Fernandopolis’ goalkeeper took down Votuporanguense’s striker on a 1v1. After he got shown a red, things got out of hand. There were punches and flying kicks that mostly didn’t connect. It resulted in a few minor injuries and once things were settled down, 11 more red cards were handed out.

 

Tags:  , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

Check out the highlights of this Development Academy Texas Division battle from this past weekend.

The match ended in a 2-2 tie with goals from Rush’s Javier Vazquez and Diego Galdamez, along with Texans’ Christian Duarte and Timothy Lagrimas.

 

Tags:  , , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

Ok, so things got a little out of hand – but if you’ve never been to a wedding where the bride gets sucker punched and the castle door gets busted down, then you’ve never really been to a wedding my friend!

Recently released Newcastle midfielder Danny Guthrie knows what I’m talking about. He’s currently fending off rumors about a wild weekend when he tied the knot at England’s Allerton Castle.

According to Dirty Tackle, and other sources, police had to break up his June 2 wedding at 4 a.m. after all hell broke loose.

Apparently, it started with a fight that saw the bride lose on all scorecards (but this was a legit decision … sorry Pacquiao) after she was punched in the grill and had to go to the hospital. Guests of the wedding were locked out – leading to them going ‘big bad wolf’ and blowing the door down – and lobsters were thrown (which I’m ok with, because shellfish deserve their freedom too).

The only thing missing from this party was Ken Jeong locked in a trunk. I guess there’s always the honeymoon.

 

Tags:  , , , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

Who says men don’t show emotion? Rafael Nadal won the French Open earlier today then promptly fell into the arms of countryman Pau Gasol. Check out the photo above as Gasol cradles Nadal, shielding him from the harsh realities of the world.

In other awkward man love news, Croatia coach Slaven Bilic was greeted by an affectionate fan during a 3-1 win over Ireland and got a juicy ‘kiss from a rose on a grave’ (shrug … Seal doesn’t even know what he meant by that).

Check out the Kiss Cam after the jump.

Tags:  , , , , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

In the latest episode of What Was Mario Balotelli Thinking? The Italian striker got in perfect position to score in Sunday’s Euro 2012 tie with Spain before one of the following things happened:

1. He briefly forgot the objective of soccer (wait … what do I do with this ball?)

2. He tried to throw the Spanish defense off with soccer’s equivalent of “the floater.”

3. He thought he was Neo and could slow everything down before scoring.

If this was anyone other than Balotelli I’d demand an investigation into possible match-fixing but since it is him he gets a Mike Tyson ‘oh, he’s crazy’ pass. Moving on.

 

Tags:  , , , , | Leave a comment
Written by Jahmal Corner

For most people it was just a friendly, but for me Argentina’s exhibition against Brazil was an opportunity to revisit Pele’s insane comments about Neymar being better than Messi.

Why am I bringing up old stuff? Because I like to instigate. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say Messi closed the door on that discussion.

 

Tags:  , , , , | 1 Comment