Written by Jahmal Corner

I’m trying to decide whether we should call this Donald Driver celebration the “Stop, Drop and Roll,” … or, the Michael Jackson.

Either way, I’m glad that Dancing With The Stars staff was able to put out that fire. Driver now joins some select company in the celebration Hall of Fame.

One athlete still waiting for induction is Hope Solo, who hasn’t quite gotten over her elimination from the primetime show.

See her comments after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

American midfielder Brian Spain, last seen starring for Virginia last fall, opened his pro account today over in Sweden by heading home a cross to secure a 1-1 draw for his club Djurgårdens – which he joined in January.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

I want this video sent to every soccer flopper in the world, immediately! If this kid can take one to the peanut, get up and keep playing, there’s absolutely no excuse for grown men to be diving all over the field.

Best part about this (besides the slow motion shot) is that his father actually uploaded the video with the following comments:

“My son learned a lesson the hard way. When kicking off in soccer, don’t kick it to the best guy on the other team! Best thing of all is that he got up and kept playing and his team ended up scoring. What a tough kid.”

Signed,

Chuck Norris

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Following his Champions League victory, Chelsea’s David Luiz got on camera and started babbling the international language of “I’m soooooo drunk!” So yeah, if you’re currently sober, you’ve got no chance of deciphering this.

But if you’re not, please call yourself a cab and then call me – I’d love to know what Luiz is talking about. I’m particularly interested in that tongue waggle at 29 seconds.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

No wonder Drogba is leaving Chelsea – the man has nothing left to prove! Not after he capped his Champions League final triumph by partying with none other than Ri-Ri (we have pet names for each other).

The two stars were seen together at London’s exclusive nightclub Boujis, on Sunday night, according to the Daily Star – which knows everything. The above picture proves it, as does Rihanna’s affectionate tweet.

Did Drogba just enjoy the best week any man has ever had?

I’m thinking YES! (Marv Albert voice).

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Wait, what just happened?

I think I just had a religious experience, and for the last hour I’ve been chanting words to a song that I don’t even understand but still absolutely LOVE (I smell a Grammy … someone translate PLEASE!). All I know is there were torches, and injuries, and then World War III broke out in the middle of the game and the animations went all Neo from The Matrix (running out of breath) …

Man, that’s how you make a promo! Just throw it all out there – sensory overload.

I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like (Love The Way You Lie, circa 2010), and if Euro 2012 feels anything like this promo I am all in people!

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

The Baltimore Bohemians are one of the new teams in the PDL this year, and we should all be incredibly grateful for their existence.

Why, you ask?

Because of their mascot – Mr. Boh (a reference to the team’s sponsor, beer company Natty Boh). Spotted at the team’s inaugural game last weekend, Mr. Boh features a handle bar mustache and a one-eyed logo that serves as perhaps the best new sports mascot across the country.

Plus, he makes me hungry (Pringles anyone?)

The team itself is comprised of a handful of familiar names, including former and current college players like Christian Barreiro (Penn), Andrew Bulls (UMBC) and Chris Somerville (Virginia).

The jerseys aren’t too shabby either. Check those out after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

In a recent ESPN article, Colorado Rapids coach Oscar Pareja shares a story about the day he rubbed shoulders with notorious Columbian drug lord Pablo Escobar (if you’re not familiar with Escobar, just imagine Landon Donovan revealing that he was once forced to play soccer against Al Capone AND Bin Laden).

As the tale goes, Pareja was summoned during his playing days to visit Escobar’s government built prison (not exactly a request he could decline … and live to tell about it) to take part in a game that pitted pros against Escobar and his guards.

Pareja recounted to ESPN:

“I think back now and consider all the things that could’ve happened to us inside those walls. There were no police. No control. Anything could’ve happened. But it didn’t.”

I’d say that’s slightly more intense than the last guy who faced such a proposition after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

I’ve spent the last two hours trying to figure out what Balotelli meant by:

“Be remember.”

Was he channeling his inner Mufasa and urging us to “Remember who you are!” Is it a proverb? A new catchphrase?

Doesn’t matter, I guess. I look too deeply into these things. Just enjoy the commercial and the collection of hairstyles Balotelli goes through before deciding on his current look – which is like, so much more acceptable than those other crazy haircuts (shrug).

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

President Obama embarrasses Beckham at the White House, while Ronaldo says he’s better than Messi. Wow. Now, that’s REAL TALK!

Check out last week’s episode: “Manchester Drama” here.

 

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