Written by The 91st

You know the drill: if you’re hot, then you’re on this list. If you’re not … you’re still on this list. We’re taking the weekly temperature of soccer and other random stuff. Here we go:

 

HOT

1. Washington Husky team photos. Recently, we ranked a few team photos from around the country, but what we failed to realize was that the Washington Huskies have this Kodak thing on lock. Check out their men’s team photo (Click the team tab), then combine it with their women’s work of art. Check, mate.

 

2. David Beckham MLS Retirement. The MLS, and the 91st Minute, just won’t be the same without him. We won’t soon forget you, Becks.

 

3. Big Ten Conference. Now that they’ve acquired Maryland and Rutgers, how will that  change the competitive balance? Glad you asked.

 

NOT

1. Robert De Niro – Jay-Z Beef. Just to recap, the two New York titans met at some exclusive party and Robert De Niro was all: Hova, I called you and you never returned my calls. You not talking TO ME!? Then Jay was all: It’s a Hard Knock Life, bro. Then Beyonce came over to mediate, like: Babe, you’re so bad with your phone. If you like it then you better PUT A RING ON IT! In short … #richpeopleproblems

 

2. Hope Solo-Jerramy Stevens. Yeah, these two.

 

3. BearCup. We don’t condone, understand, or recommend this event.

 

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Written by The 91st

Some of us know it as “Carol of the Bells”, others: the Christmas song in Home Alone. Whatevs.

The NBA is gearing up for the holidays in the most appropriate way possible – by selling merchandise. This is an ad for new Christmas edition NBA jerseys, though I’m guessing they don’t come attached to real NBA players or with a built-in rendition of Christmas carols. False advertising, then.

And I still give David Beckham’s playing of ‘Ode to Joy’ a leg up on this musical number. From left to right, the NBA spot includes Dwight Howard, Carmelo Anthony, Joe Johnson (like, why?), Russell Westbrook and Dwyane Wade A.K.A. the wise guy who spells ‘Dwayne’ in a way that always makes me feel dyslexic.

Kobe was originally in this commercial but they pulled him after he refused to stop shooting.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

When you’re rich, everything is a toy. Snoop Dogg, A.K.A. Snoop Lion, government name Calvin Broadus, wants to buy into the Glascow Celtic club after watching them recently stun Barcelona and dance in victory.

That’s pretty much the equivalent of me admiring a goldfish and then deciding to buy Sea World. Snoop does appear to be somewhat of a soccer fan, though, and he said his first managerial move at Sea World, err, Celtic, would be to try to lure a suddenly single David Beckham.

“I asked my man David about Celtic and he was like, ‘Yeah, teams don’t come much bigger.’ I would try and sign him up for a season. I would have to at least make that offer to my boy. We have lunch when we can, so next time, you know, I am going to speak to him about it. Never say never.”

That seems to be Snoop’s motto lately: never say never. Snoop name change? Never say never. Snoop in a Hot Pocket commercial? Could be after the jump.

Never say never.

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Written by The 91st

What can you say about the Akron Zips? Just a well run program. That apparently extends to their fan promotions which include the one above.

For each Akron goal scored a random fan gets a t-shirt thrown in their general direction, then takes an equally random photo with it. So random fan above, for example, was awarded a t-shirt after Eric Stevenson scored goal No. 7 of the season.

I love this. So much so that I’m determined to sneak into an Akron game (I’m broke) and knock over any fan necessary (excluding women or children) in order to get my T-shirt. Looks like the Zips are currently on goal No. 36. And even though I’m No. 1 in the hood, G, I’ll settle for No. 37.

 

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Written by The 91st

Well, it looks like we won’t have Beck Spice to kick around anymore. At least, not in the MLS. The LA Galaxy icon has announced that the upcoming MLS Cup will be his last game in the league. It’s been a great run. Not for Beckham, but for us. We’ve squeezed every last bit of joke juice out of the ol’ Becks but now it’s time to move into a new phase.

Before we do, though, let’s look back at Beckham’s top 3 MLS moments as told by 91st Minute.

1. Beckham gets mad, then gets even. When a Toronto FC fan decided to give Becks a beer shower he struck back – on the field.

2. Beckham vs. Earthquakes mascot. Just because he has his own line of cotton underwear doesn’t mean he’s soft.

3. Ok, so this has nothing to do with the MLS but these pictures are worth 20,000 words!

We’ll miss you, Becks.

 

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Reason No. 1,175 why you should feel bad about your life: look at this Carlos Tevez paycheck, bro.

Somehow the check stub of the Man City star leaked on Twitter this weekend giving us a visual of what it looks like to truly ball so hard. Look at all these zeroes. Wait, did Tevez really take home £408,397.27 for this one check or is that his social security number?

Man, this check has so many categories. Mine just says my name (handwritten) with an amount to be paid later. Maybe that’s because I work for my uncle (mostly odd jobs). I wonder if Man City is hiring.

 

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Written by The 91st

It was announced today that ACC power Maryland is jumping conferences and heading to the Big Ten beginning in 2014, with Rutgers soon to follow as it departs the Big East.

What does all this mean? Well, already the top conference in the country, the ACC was prepping for world domination with the addition of Notre Dame in 2015 so maybe this evens things out a bit.

As far as the Big Ten goes, we’ve put together a projection of the 2014 standings (based on recruits and past success). You’re welcome. Don’t mention it.

See the projected 2014 Big Ten standings (order of finish) after the jump.

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Written by Dill Pickle

A-HA! So it turns out that the top youth football player in the country is really a soccer player at heart.

Sam Morgan, the nine-year-old young lady who made national news by beating up on her male competition, has revealed that while she loves the pigskin her heart really beats for the pitch.

How do we know? Twitter. Duh!

When Morgan opened an account earlier this month her first tweet simply said: “Hi Abby!”

Wambach took notice and didn’t waste time getting back to her young fan:

Morgan has also tweeted Mia Hamm, sharing that people actually call her “Mini Mia” on the soccer field.

Huge victory for soccer on this one. One small step for futbol, one giant loss for football.

 

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Written by The 91st


Apparently, last season when the LA Galaxy hosted Houston Dynamo for the MLS Cup in its own backyard, someone yelled out: Hey, same time next year?

And so here we are: the MLS Cup turning into a private holiday party hosted by the Galaxy, featuring the Dynamo.

The matchup is sexy, so there’s no complaint there, but the format is flawed. Remind me again why the Galaxy get to host the league title match for the second year in a row? Everyone’s just OK with this?

It’s pretty much unprecedented in a winner-take-all professional championship match that one team regularly gets to treat the game like a regular season home game. That’s taking the term “home-field advantage” a little too far if you ask me.

But, hey, what the glamor team wants, it gets.

Dynamo Eastern Conference highlights after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Congratulations to Chicago Fire’s Austin Berry, who beat out formidable campaigns from around the league to capture the MLS Rookie of the Year.

Berry was formerly a star at Louisville where he helped lead the team to a national title game while his little sister was doing big things over at Wake Forest.

Berry made 28 straight starts for the Fire to run away with the award, finishing ahead of second-place rookie Nick DeLeon of DC United.

 

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