Written by Dill Pickle

So Kimye is creating a baby. It’s happening, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I say we prepare for the worst and assume that this baby will soon be coming to a soccer field near you. What can we expect? How do we prepare? Well, you don’t prepare for an apocalypse really, but here’s what we can expect:

 

1. The best orange slices of all-time! Postgame snacks will be catered and feature three courses, not to mention a complimentary non-alcoholic champagne served in chic juice boxes. Yup.

 

2. Baby Kimye WILL win ALL of the season-ending awards, or else

If you don’t want Kanye crashing the team banquet microphone I suggest you give his baby every trophy available.

 

3. Baby Kimye will have a huge boo … uh, boot collection. He, or she, will get it from their mama. Just sayin …

 

Tags:  , , | Leave a comment
Written by Administrator

If you are in the presence of a crying baby, and a lullaby won’t do the trick. Naturally, the next thing to do is hold the baby, or rock the baby in a cradle, but sometimes you need some external help. Sometimes, you need a soothing voice to calm that baby down, because who are we kidding? Most of us have terrible voices. Sometimes, all you need is some Notorious B.I.G. That’s right, none other than Biggie Smalls himself. It worked on this crying baby, and I’ll definitely keep this trick in mind for when I become a parent.

Tags:  , , , | 1 Comment