For the first time in a half decade, Leo Messi is not the best player in the world as chosen by FIFA. That title belongs to Cristiano Ronaldo, who cried his way on stage to accept the award and then pranced his way off it to accept the cries, adoration and Colossus-sized statues sure to be built by the loving throng of billions.
That’s the way it is in his head, anyway. Twenty bucks that he’s in a techno club washed with horrible neon light right now. It doesn’t matter when you’re reading this. Right now still applies.