Written by Will Parchman

Miami

Miami is sinking. Hissing fissures of bubbling water creep over manhole covers and failing pumps spew salt water over mangrove limbs and yards and asphalt. The state is trying to fix the problem with an increasingly modest set of measures, but geography will have its way. If the sea wants Miami, it will have her.

There is a great irony in Miami’s soccer present, that it is trying so hard to climb from a soggy grave while the city sinks around it. David Beckham’s Miami site has gone from the glamor of the waterfront to a charred, cracked lot in Overtown surrounded by chain link. They bought the land in March. Even if Beckham’s MLS project seems preordained, the prophecies are still vague about when, exactly, it will come to pass.

When Miami FC sprouted out of the salt in 2015, few noticed. And if they saw, they weren’t really looking.

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Written by Will Parchman

091615-SOCCER-NYCFC-Frank-Lampard-Andrea-Pirlo-celebrate-goal-MM-PI.vresize.1200.675.high.72

It took Andrea Pirlo 27 matches, but he finally found the mark for NYCFC last weekend. And boy was it a very Pirlo-y encounter.

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Written by Will Parchman

roldan

You may remember Seattle Sounders midfielder Cristian Roldan from such feature-length fun as That One Adidas Commercial With the Plastic Bag and The Highly Prized Generation Adidas Signing and How Did He Fall to 16th In The 2015 MLS Draft.

You can now call him Sounders goal-scorer Cristian Roldan.

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Written by Will Parchman

durk

The Homegrowns are flying in from every direction these days. First Andrew Carleton. Now, not even a week later, Chris Durkin.

D.C United’s ripcord pull on Durkin’s contract is a quality bit of business for the capital club. For one, United hadn’t signed a Homegrown from the academy that pushed out Andy Najar and Bill Hamid since January 2014. But there’s also the fact that Durkin is a tidy player who’s value added to a franchise that tends to give opportunities to players of his ilk.

And what kind of players are those, you ask? Step right up.

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Written by Will Parchman

LAG

The U.S. Open Cup roped in MLS teams this week, and we inevitably get an upset or two in the offing.

Tuesday was not, however, one of those days. The fourth round of the USOC got off to a relatively normal start, but we did have a couple close shaves. Real Salt Lake trailed Wilmington 2-0 and needed penalties to leg out a win. And a 10-man LA Galaxy was taken into extra time with a 1-1 game against fourth-tier UPSL side La Maquina. This goal from Dave Romney saved them. They ultimately scored twice more and won 4-1.

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Written by Will Parchman

fcd

We’re not telling you anything you (probably) don’t already know here, but the FC Dallas academy might just be the best of its ilk in the entire country.

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Written by Will Parchman

carleton2

As you might’ve heard, a big thing happened today in the revolving and somewhat daunting world of the #PlayYourKids movement.

Atlanta United signed Andrew Carleton. They really did it.

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Written by Travis Clark

Major League Soccer teams are hanging up their boots for a week and a half as focus in North America shifts towards the Copa America Centenario.

In two separate mid-week matchups, a pair of rookies opened up their pro accounts in impressive fashion. Philadelphia’s Fabian Herbers put Michael Parkhurst on ice skates above, while No. 1 overall pick Jack Harrison received a fortunate deflection to aid him for his opener.

Expect to see these goals as the first of many from these two.

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Written by Will Parchman

a.espncdn.com

The first MLS salary dump of 2016 is here. So let’s start with a cold shower of sobering reality, shall we.

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Written by Will Parchman

football-la-galaxy-gerrard-steven_3325307

Steven Gerrard was objectively poor for the Galaxy in 2015.

While he started promisingly, he was a meandering wreck for the Galaxy’s back half of the season, wandering in and out of possession, lifting bored long balls to no one and generally not doing much of anything. In the team’s final game of the season – a 3-2 loss to the Sounders in the playoffs – Gerrard groped his way blindly through a match that left him behind. He only attempted 44 passes, did not even attempt a single tackle and left behind a heat map that looked like it had been left in an arctic ice block.

The old Gerrard is clearly there, somewhere, but he’s been washed out by the white noise of boredom, age and a faltering set of skills that leaves him somewhere above broken and somewhere well below useful.

And he costs the Galaxy $6 million per year.

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