Written by Will Parchman


The MLS All-Star game happened last night. As far as the game itself goes, drab would have a hard time covering it. Roma scored in the opening minutes and never looked threatened en route to a 3-1 win, though let’s be real. This is a group of familiar men fresh from the offseason playing a hodgepodge of MLS stars in the middle of their seasons.

When MLS coach Peter Vermes yanked off Graham Zusi for a “muscle tweak” in the opening 25 minutes, my first thought was that it was orchestrated down to a T. Coach tells his star player to get himself out of a meaningless game as quickly as he can so he can be fresh for the week. If Zusi misses time then I’m an idiot, but it was my first thought anyway. Such ideas do All-Star games promote.

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Written by Will Parchman

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What the video below holds is one of the most glorious bad rap sessions of our lifetimes. It’s like Vanilla Ice mated with Refrigerator Perry and made the best bad video of all time.

It’s just… just watch. I can only use so many superlatives to describe Brad Davis’ rolled up denim overalls and whatever it is Graham Zusi thinks he’s doing.

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Written by Will Parchman

No question here that NYRB and RSL staged one helluva show over the weekend. The game was locked at 2-2 into the final nine minutes when Alvaro Saborio bagged his third (the one you see above) in spectacular fashion. What composure. Seemed like RSL had sewn up an impressive three road points against one of the East’s toughest outs.

Right? Not so fast.

The Red Bulls scored twice in the final 10 minutes, capped by a dramatic header from Dax McCarty to seal the theatric comeback. McCarty posted this video to his Twitter on Sunday with the following caption: “This is why you play the game, moments like this.”


See full highlights of the game after the jump.

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

Philadelphia Union midfielder Amobi Okugo was kind enough to give the world a look into his pad. First and foremost let’s all acknowledge how humble and cool this guy is. This is not your average episode of cribs featuring Master P, this is better. I would also like to point out that Amobi and I have the exact same fridge. Nothing to apologize for my friend. You and I are just ballers on a budget. Although you have a Brita filter…I don’t. Keep up the good work sir and best of luck the rest of the season.


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Written by Will Parchman


Imagine for a moment you’re back in high school. Let’s drop you in the 80′s because why the hell not. You’re living a John Hughes movie. You wear a leather jacket, rip around in a cherry-red TransAm and your favorite movie is that Matthew Broderick flick where he takes over the world’s nuclear supply with a crappy talking computer.

So anyway, you’re kind of a loud jerk. You curse in public places. Sometimes there are kids around. But you’re young and kind of impetuous and it’s not like you’re ripping off a string of obscenities in a daycare.

You’re with your friends, often in places not exclusively traveled by children and their parents. If these kids’ parents don’t want them to be exposed to “mature themes,” you think, said parents shouldn’t be carting them to areas replete with bandana-clad hooligans (penny arcade!). Like yourself. Not rocket science.

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Written by Will Parchman


If you haven’t yet, run over to Forbes to check out this article breaking down the economics behind NYCFC’s unveil and the impact that might have on the league’s blinking television contract. The whole thing unearths some interesting yarns, a few of which I’d like to tug on here.

In the heady days of the David Beckham era (and now the post-Becks era), MLS has made meteoric gains in its on-field form. Some, including your humble host here, have ventured to call our current state of affairs “MLS 2.0.” With a glut of entertaining DPs, a rising amount of flair and increasingly technical play, this clearly is no longer the era of high studs, meaty challenges and poorly weighted balls.

It isn’t cashmere, but it’s not scarred lead anymore, either. MLS is growing up.

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Written by Will Parchman


It was a great week for attractive goals in MLS. And because everyone needs to see that Alan Gordon goal one more time.


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Written by Will Parchman


No words necessary. MLS 36 heads to Texas to profile Brad Davis, who embodies everything about the Bigger Is Better state. 23 minutes of awesome.


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Written by Will Parchman

Real Salt Lake has MLS’ only residency academy, a satellite program in Arizona that feeds one of the league’s most consistent programs over the past five years. It’s not the most convenient program in the country — Arizona to Utah isn’t ideal by any stretch — but as you can see, it’s also one of the best stocked. Even when it was started nearly three years ago, RSL knew it was going to be one of the best training facilities in the country.

Here, you can follow RSL’s Trevor Hyman as he leaves home, sets up in RSL’s impressive indoor facility and then runs through training. A day in the life of a youth player? Yes please.


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Written by The 91st

Can we just go ahead and book all future qualifying, and international friendly matches in Seattle already? I’d say the results speak for themselves.

Not only has the USMNT performed well there, as they did in yesterday’s victory against Panama, but the Pacific Northwest crowd just continues to shine. The success of the MLS Seattle Sounders and Portland Timbers is well documented, and the region lived up to its reputation yesterday with the above chant: We, Are, Going to Braziiiil!!!!

Awesome. A little premature. But still awesome.


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