April 22, 2015

The Montreal Impact are in Mexico City, hopefully will leave with their dignity

Written by Will Parchman

Today is Wednesday, which means the Impact are in Mexico City to stumble blindly onto the threshing floor of the Azteca Stadium. It’s the CONCACAF Champions League final, which is a Wild West, where the mostly bad Impact somehow managed to qualify to face perennial challenger Club America.

The Impact will almost certainly lose, but still. How many times have we said that against Pachuca and then Alajuelense? They survived both times, somehow, and here they are. In the MLS Thunderdome. Godspeed.

The Impact’s media team is fantastic, and they’ve been hard at work documenting the team’s improbable run through the tournament. You can see one of those beauties here. Will the Impact win tonight? Almost certainly not. But given this tournament, anything’s possible. Even at the Azteca.

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April 8, 2015

Inside the Montreal Impact’s incredible Champions League advancement

Written by Will Parchman

The continuing saga of how the Impact are somehow squirreling their way to the CONCACAF Champions League final is one of the most bizarre stories of the tournament’s history. The Impact were terrible last year, and they haven’t won any of their first three MLS games of the season. And yet they managed to survive and advance again this week. A 4-2 loss to Alajuelense wasn’t enough to overturn the away goals they scored, and they’re now just the second MLS club to ever even make it this far. RSL couldn’t finish the job in 2011. The Impact somehow can.

This tremendous video is as good a look you’ll get at the experience of playing on the road in the CCL. It starts with the players being warned about not making eye contact with opposing fans. That should be all the enticement you need.

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March 19, 2015

The Impact are (somehow) already in mid-season form

Written by Will Parchman

It happened again. The Impact won another CONCACAF Champions League match.

After brushing aside Pachuca in the quarters thanks to the Thrust Heard ‘Round The World (and a goal or something from rookie Cameron Porter), the Impact smashed Alajuelense 2-0 at home on Wednesday night in the first leg of the semifinals. It should’ve been even more. As you’ll notice from the highlights, Montreal wasted a couple prime opportunities to make it 3-0 (or even 4-0) and put the tie to sleep. Because the Impact still have to play in Costa Rica. And nobody wants to play in Costa Rica. It’s the MLS/USMNT Thunderdome.

Perhaps the most bizarre thing about all this is that the Impact gave absolutely no indication they’d be even half this good in a spot where MLS teams have been historically terrible. Only one MLS side has ever made it to the CCL final, Real Salt Lake in 2011. And it didn’t win.

If suddenly in-form Ignacio Piatti manages to lead Impact into the final at all, let alone to a title, it’ll rank as the most surprising championship run in the tournament’s history after the Great Montreal Dumpster Fire of 2014. I speak for all neutrals, Montreal, when I say: “Wreck this damn thing.”

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March 3, 2015

The Montreal Impact tied, and Frank Klopas turned a ref into a pillar of ash

Written by Will Parchman

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The Montreal Impact might’ve notched the biggest non-win in club history on Tuesday night. With the specter of a work stoppage looming like a shroud over the match, the Impact faced off against Pachuca in the second leg of their CONCACAF Champions League match. A spot in the semifinals loomed, a bastion MLS teams haven’t widely visited. Further, the Montreal Impact, the Worst Team In MLS Not Named Chivas USA in 2014, was the league’s last hope.

Right. This wasn’t supposed to turn out well.

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September 30, 2013

Top 5 MLS Coach of the Year candidates

Written by Will Parchman

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As the season putters toward the playoffs, a handful of coach of the year candidates are beginning to separate from the league’s cluster. These typically run the gamut from coaches turning big talent into points to molding former also-rans into legitimate MLS Cup contenders. I don’t necessarily buy that one is intrinsically more impressive than the other. That Mike Petke has done what he’s done in New York, for instance, is not diminished by the team’s payroll. Look at his predecessors and the praise seems baked into the pie.

And while his tenure is short, I want to acknowledge what Brian Bliss is doing in Columbus.

Bliss’ rap sheet is the shortest of any coach here, which means he’ll have a difficult time dislodging other coaches from higher places. So perhaps Bliss won’t win the honor, but he at least deserves praise for his brief month-long stint in the manager’s chair in Columbus. The Crew had lost seven of 11 when Robert Warzycha was let go at the start of September, and they were drowning and left for dead in the playoff race. Since then, Columbus has won four of five, including an entertaining 4-2 win over FCD over the weekend that inched the Crew closer to the playoffs. The Crew are playing vibrant attacking soccer (11 goals in those four wins), and if their year stretches into the postseason, there might not have been a more dramatic shift in the league all year. And that’s down to Bliss.

Without further ado, five of the top MLS coach of the year candidates.

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August 30, 2013

Generation Adidas Cup: East Regional Photos

Written by Travis Clark

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Every year, over the past few years, Major League Soccer puts on its annual Generation adidas Cup, a youth tournament that matches up its academies against once another.

In the past, the tourney is held nationally, with all participating teams congregating in one location. This year, it’s been split regionally into East, Central and West groups, with a national final scheduled around Easter 2014.

On Friday down in Leesburg, Virginia, six teams kicked off the East group, with the Montreal Impact, D.C. United, Columbus Crew, Toronto FC, New York Red Bulls and Philadelphia Union U16s doing battle.

Check out photos and scores from Friday after the jump.

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January 28, 2013

MLS players share superstitions, we judge them

Written by Trey Messiah

I recently asked some of the incoming MLS talent if they had any superstitions before games. Here are their responses followed by our 91st Minute analysis. No charge.

 

Andy Riemer (LA Galaxy): I don’t know if it’s necessarily a superstition, but during the national anthem I try to control my breathing and heart rate and visualize the game … Definitely not a superstition, Andy. I believe controlling your breathing and heart rate is more commonly referred to as, well … breathing.

 

Will Bates (Seattle Sounders): At Virginia I had to always be the last person to walk out of the locker room before a game. As Ricky Bobby used to say: you’re either first, or you’re Will Bates.

 

Andy Rose (Seattle Sounders): Right sock, left sock, right boot, left boot …wet foot, dry foot, low foot, high foot …

 

Fernando Monge (Montreal Impact): Naw, not really. I’ve always wondered about that but never figured out something. I wanted to respond to this, but I couldn’t figure out anything either.


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July 6, 2012

Zarek Valentin cooks for Montreal Impact teammate Andrew Wenger

Written by Jahmal Corner

I guess this is one of the perks of being a No. 1 draft pick. MLS Rookie Andrew Wenger, the first overall pick of the January draft, has clearly aligned himself with an ideal roommate as Zarek Valentin prepares a pregame meal for the two of them.

I hope Wenger realizes just how good he has it. Between the six or so roommates I’ve had in my lifetime the closest any of them ever came to cooking for me was loaning me a pizza delivery coupon – and it was expired.

The meal above looks legit. I have newfound respect for Valentin who just might rival Stuart Holden in the kitchen.

 

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May 14, 2012

Beckham free kick reminds us he can still, like, play soccer and stuff

Written by Jahmal Corner

Maybe it’s just me, but when I think of David Beckham these days soccer is kind of a secondary thought. Bentleys, kiss cams, Spice Girls … those things come to mind immediately, however.

Well, Beckham provided a nice little reminder of his main occupation this past weekend with this signature free kick against Montreal Impact.

I enjoyed it for, oh, about five minutes … then I started thinking about strawberry smoothies.

 

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February 27, 2012

Impact creates rave experience in highlights

Written by Jahmal Corner

I think I’m going to like Montreal’s addition to MLS if for no other reason than their highlight packages.

Playing down at the Walt Disney Pro Classic ahead of the March 10 opener, Montreal tied Sporting KC 1-1. Seems innocuous enough right?

The game itself wasn’t too exciting- Mike Fucito grabbing a goal off a cross from Hermann Trophy winner Andrew Wenger and Soony Saad scoring the equalizer for KC — and it featured the scrappiness common in most MLS preseason matches. But once the Impact’s video editors got their hands on the b-roll, the magic happened.

Not only are the highlights set to a Euro-trashy, Daft Punk-like beat, but the periodic slow motion effects remind me of being on … uh, the field (because when you’re as good as I am everything happens in slow motion. Just call me Neo, baby). So turn out the lights, grab a glow stick or two, and peep the video above in all its rave-like glory.

 

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