BREAKING NEWS: Wayne Rooney is overweight. I know this comes as a shocker but he recently confirmed as much in his new book My Decade in the Premier League (which is about as creative a book title as my new memoir, titled: Living, Breathing, Alive), saying that he showed up for the start of the season seven pounds above normal.
Here’s an excerpt from the book:
“I’m like most blokes, I put on a few pounds after a holiday. Even if I don’t train for a week, I put on two or three … the scales in the club gym tell me I’ve put on a few more pounds than expected – seven. Seven! Then I remember – I drank a few bevvies while I was away. I’m stocky. I’m not like Ryan Giggs, all bone and lean muscle.”
First of all, I don’t appreciate being called a bloke, Wayne. Secondly, which holiday are you talking about? The weekend?
If this is what passes for juicy reading I think I’ll pass on the book. Wayne may want to do the same on dessert.