Sepp Blatter is quickly becoming a caricature of a real person. He says stupid things, like when he indirectly told women’s soccer players to “wear tighter shorts” in 2004. Or calling transfers “modern slavery” in 2008. Or positing that John Terry would’ve been “applauded” in Latin American countries for cheating on his wife with the ex-girlfriend of a teammate in 2010. Or telling gay soccer fans to “refrain from sexual activities” (out loud!) in regards to Qatar 2022. Or the fact that Qatar 2022 is a thing.
So anyway, Blatter is stupid, and it seems he’s getting stupider. This tweet actually happened on Friday.
Everyone in the global football community has a responsibility to act ethically. Football fans rightly demand this. FIFA has taken the lead.
— Joseph S Blatter (@SeppBlatter) September 19, 2014
Everything about this is breathtaking in scope. Everyone has a responsibility to act ethically (except your humble TWEETER EXTRAORDINAIRE). Football fans demand this (which proves he knows what he should be doing and simply isn’t). And, finally, the coup de grace, in bold font, million-point text, bulleted and written on the sky:
“FIFA has taken the lead.”
The pause here is either for you to stop laughing or crying, whichever you’re feeling today.
So anyway, that’s a stupid thing for Blatter to tweet. The only thing FIFA’s taken the lead on is embarrassing, tin ear PR moments and scheduling the next two World Cups in nations with questionable human rights histories. Otherwise, nah.
So as you might suspect, Twitter’s wonderful denizens swept into immediate action with a flurry of responses. They were pretty much all hyperbolic and ridiculous, but so is Blatter. So it fits. Here are my favorites. I’m not advocating for all these tweets, but, you know, the lulz are strong with these. And, of course, we start with a Hitler reference.