Written by Jahmal Corner

How do you prefer your chicken? Grilled? Fried? Baked?

Me, I prefer mine blackburned. (BADUM-CHING!)

An unidentified chicken crossed the road (wink) then rushed the field yesterday while wearing a full-on Blackburn outfit during the club’s match against Wigan.

The little stunt was apparently orchestrated by a Blackburn fan (you don’t say?) who wanted to send a message to the club’s owners.

The message: We need more poultry at concession stands! At least, that’s what I got out of it.

Thank goodness for Wigan goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi though, who went all Rocky II Sylvester Stallone and caught the thing before it ended up on a KFC assembly line.

A reenactment of the event after the jump.

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Written by Jahmal Corner

Soccer is returning to Guantanamo Bay.

The detainees at Camp 6 will have their own soccer field come this spring when a super-rec space is finished, complete with a $750,000 price tag. The project will restore football to detainees who used to play soccer on a small patch of dirt before Guantanamo Bay closed Camp 4 and moved to its current indoor facility.

The new field is half the size of an American football field and has been designed to allow detainees “maximum access” – about 20 hours a day – with special passageways that allow them access to the new field without a military escort (passageways? No military escort? Why not just open the front gate why you’re at it!? This has the plot of “Victory” written all over it).

This will make for the third recreational facility at Camp 6 – home to “highly compliant” detainees who live in a communal setting (yeah, highly compliant until Sylvester Stallone mysteriously comes to visit and the detainees go Andy Dufresne in that b*tch!) – and return the welcome sight of two-footed goals to the camp (because they have chains on their ankles … duh).

An unidentified Gitmo military police representative said that:

“allowing high levels of activity outdoors helped reduce behavioral problems at the camps.”

Conveniently enough, it also fits in perfectly with the camp’s new slogan:

If you build it, they will stayat Guantanamo Bay … because, umm, they don’t have a choice (or, so we think).

 

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