Written by Will Parchman

tim-howard

The Colorado Rapids didn’t need Tim Howard. Or at least it didn’t seem like the Rapids needed Tim Howard.

Zac MacMath, the young and damned Zac MacMath, backstopped one of the more robust defensive outfits in recent MLS history before Howard was so ceremoniously poached from Everton over the summer. Of all the positions for the most buttoned-up, defensively astute team in the league to chase with this many questions along the front – goalkeeper? Really?

And then this happened.

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Written by Will Parchman

maxresdefault Tim Howard is back in MLS and I wonder like fury if he understands what den he’ll find when he returns.

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Written by Will Parchman

Rimando

Tim Howard hasn’t been distinguishably good for a while now (Belgium 2014, to be exact), and it’s only through Brad Guzan’s inability to take the position that Howard’s spot as the U.S. No. 1 between the pipes hasn’t become more untenable than it is since he took a year-long hiatus.

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Written by Will Parchman

sad

These are sad days for English soccer in Europe. Days after Manchester City and Arsenal were booted from the Champions League and a week after Chelsea got the axe from 10-man PSG, Everton was left holding the bag in the prestigious Europa League. A second leg against Dynamo Kiev awaited this week in a tie they led 2-1. All to play for.

Or not. Kiev put in five goals on Thursday and thrashed Everton’s helpless defense for a 6-4 aggregate victory. At least Everton and universally-beloved-and-most-certainly-never-derided manager Roberto Martinez have the Premier League! Wh… what’s that you say? Everton are 14th in the Premier League and just six points clear of the drop zone with nine matches left? Never mind, then. As you were.

From an American perspective, one of the saddest things about Everton’s soul-crushing season is the relative decline of Tim Howard. He’s never quite looked the same since he cured the common cold against Belgium in the World Cup last summer. Everton’s defense in front of him has been putrid this season, which certainly plays its part. According to Squawka, the Toffees lead the Premier League in defensive errors with 30, four more than anyone else in the league. Unfortunately, a couple of those have been Howard’s.

Thursday was a typically morose day for Howard, who doesn’t have the national team to fall back on for some time due to his self-imposed hiatus. Two reasons why his Thursday sucked worse than yours.

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Written by Will Parchman

Fan of art? Fan of Tim Howard? Fan of beards? Today is your Day of Days.

Artist Helen Davies spent 15 hours rendering Tim Howard in all his beard-robed glory using – get this – just graphite pencils. And it ended up as this masterpiece, featuring twinkling eyes, fantastically nuanced facial hair, a mouth that betrays a raft of emotion and those veiny temples you know so well.

It’s an incredible amount of detail, and all with a pencil. Who knew? The most impressive thing I’ve ever done with that instrument is to toss it into the tiled ceiling of an algebra classroom.

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Written by Will Parchman

friedel

Tim Howard opened the ground beneath his relationship with Brad Friedel this week. In his new book, Howard claimed Friedel refused to sign a work permit statement on his behalf when Howard joined Manchester United in 2003. Friedel responded by saying that the letter was “full of exaggerations,” so he made some edits, signed and then resubmitted the article. It was not used.

So what did Howard’s original statement say? The 91st Minute has obtained that letter. For the first time, an exclusive on the supposedly exaggerative missive Friedel refused to sign.

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Written by Will Parchman

This whole Tim Howard-is-the-greatest-human-ever-of-all-time thing got a bit out of hand in the aftermath of his otherworldly performance against Belgium. That gif there gives you a pretty good idea as to why. Howard basically stood on his head for 120 minutes and let in two relatively un-saveable goals. It was arguably the most imperious keeping performance in World Cup history. Apologizes to Memo Ochoa.

Anyway, whether Howard was stopping a pseudo-stalker from hugging him in an airport or being repeatedly blamed for not coming to a quicker rescue of thousands of failed marriages, it’s been a weird/amazing couple weeks for the Everton man. If they weren’t before, Toffee fans are certainly appreciative of their netminder now. Even if he couldn’t rescue their divorced parents in time.

 

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Written by Reshad Bahadori

It was only a matter of time before the internet did what the internet does. After his stellar 16-save performance vs Belgium, the hashtag #thingstimhowardcansave began to trend and the memes started to roll in.

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Written by The 91st

Howard

Tim Howard made great use of time while out with injury. You know, the usual stuff: rehabbing, working out, randomly showing up at an Everton fan’s front door.

As a part of a program called Make Their Day, our USMNT goalkeeper visited Everton fan Owen Fennell-Rutherford to reward him with season tickets. Fennell-Rutherford is a 19-year-old who has dealt with a variety of health issues but has remained faithful to the Blues.

Howard pretty much rocked his world in a video you can see HERE.

Oh, then Howard got back to the business of playing soccer by leading Everton to a 1-0 shutout of Stoke City. Not a bad week all together.

 

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Written by The 91st

Jan

Jan Mucha was 19 days away from having his six-month driving ban expire, so guess what he did? Yup, he decided to drive. And he was busted.

The Everton goalkeeper, who is currently backing up the injured Tim Howard, told police the following:

That he had no idea he was not allowed to drive because he simply passed all his own mail on to the club to read and sort. Michelle Brown, defending, later said Mucha was aware he was disqualified until March 12 and had simply miscalculated when the ban ended. But she admitted the Slovakian international lived in a “very insular world” and said he would take more care in the future to manage his own affairs.

Well, sounds like someone needs to put their big boy pants on and start taking charge of his own life. In other news, Mucha has to use the restroom … can someone take him?

[Sports Grid]

 

 

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